Monday Hangover: Eating from the same Garbage Can

The Exile of Tommy Maddox - Part 2

After being exiled from Pittsburgh following his disasterous performance against Jacksonville, Maddox went first into the wilderness to find himself, and came out realizing that in fact he's turtling it by being a former shell of himself. After walking on a desolate road somewhere in the middle of nowhere, he came across a diner just off of I-79. I mean, really off. This was no oridinary diner.

It was "Gretta's". Also known as "The home of crappy former Steeler quarterbacks."

There at a table near the back of this Winnebago-converted-into-a-diner restaraunt, there was a small shrine of mediocrity. Just as Maddox turned around, a figure reeking of more Scotch than Ron Burgundy on a 24 hour cable news station, approached him.

"Hey! You're that XHL guy ain't you?"

It was none other than former Steelers quarterback Bubby Brister.

"Well not really, I'm starter for the Steelers," asserted Tommy, looking around to find Neil O'Donnell cowering in the corner holding a Larry Brown Starting Lineup action figure and Jim Miller eating a cup of wedding soup. This was an all too bizarre place for Maddox, however after a while he had become accustomed to the place after a piece of Strawberry pie.

He was hooked.

With Maddox's confidence boosted in that he still has a job and his cohorts have become absolute wrecks, he hitches the next ride back to Heinz Field in the back of a primer-colored beater truck.

Halftime, Charlie Batch is injured with a broken hand. Maddox barely makes it to the stadium on time and starts the 3rd quarter as the boo birds migrate back to Pittsburgh. Maddox does very little in the game, relying more on the run game and doing minimal passing as Pittsburgh wins on over Cleveland.

TO BE CONTINUED

To the games for Week 10:

Monday Bonus: Dallas drinks a tall glass of irony - I've picked on Dallas a fair share this season for pulling moneumental chokejobs. This week Dallas was on the other end of the choke by scoring 14 points in less than 2 mins as Andy Reid is on Step 3 of the 12 step program. Step 3 in case you're wondering is a five game losing streak. Dallas hands out a choke to Philly. Maybe T.O. was right. Salsa 21, T.0wn3d 14

This Game Blows - No literally. this game blew. as in, 45 mph winds. You know it's just hilarious when for once the 49ers aren't at the butt of the jokes. One field goal attempt by the Bears went comically wide right. As in, wide right straight into the stands on the side. The Bears also wrote some history this game as Nathan Vasher returned a messed up field goal 108 yards for a TD and a new NFL record for longest play. As if the 49ers season couldn't get any worse, they're now the answer to a Trivial Persuit question. Da Bears 17, Joe Nedney 9

3rd Quarter, Pittsburgh should've just pulled the goalie - Hines Ward in this game passed John Stallworth for the Steelers all-time career receptions by a wide receiver. You see the Steelers do celebrate individual accomplishments. As long as you're not a dick about it, Jerkoff. Antwaan Randle El pulled the And1 Mixed Tape play of the game with a fake reverse pass to Hines Ward 53 yards for a TD. The DJ was quoted on the field as saying "OHH BABAY! OHH BABAY!" Hot Sauce will be available next game as a safety. Springfield 34, Shelbyville 21

Most Worthless Player- Brook Bollinger, going 11/21 for 98 yards and 4 INTs, making the second Jets QB this season that has been awarded the MWP.