The $#!T You Hate: First Edition
There has been a rather large swelling of rage that has slowly built up layer by layer that must find a release. Then again in that sentence you could replace the word rage with anything and still make it sound coherent.
CollegeHumor.com writer Streeter Seidel once had a column called "People You Hate" where people would e-mail him specifics anecdotes about people that as a whole do not aid in the progression of the human species. I however would like to go down a step and focus on things prevalent in our society that must be changed or done away with entirely.
The inaugural list is as follows:
1) Ameteur Ghost Riders - For those unaware of this rapper's stunt, "ghost riding" is where a person rides on the hood of a car moving at a very slow speed without a driver in the car. In rap videos this is done in a controlled environment with many people on hand to stop/slow the car down should something bad happen. For Johnny Icy Hot, it's in a parking lot on a ramp with his Honda Civic that leads to guranteed damage, bodily injury, or death. Honestly I would hope for death. Stop impressing your mom and drive the car she paid for you.
2) The Question "Did you get a haircut?" - This question has been asked entire too long in the course of history and it needs to be phased out. The answer is always YES. Yes, you were consious when you made the appointment, drove to Supercuts, sat in the chair, conversed about your life with Betty the Stylist, and paid the $15 for the haircut. OF COURSE YOU GOT ONE, DUH. The only time this question works is if you get shamed and wake up late for work without looking in the mirror. I'm sure your boss is thrilled about having "KCOC" written on your forehead, too.
3) Sweatpants with writing on the ass - No matter how you spell it, sweatpants are still sweatpants regardless of the alpha-numeric combination written on it. Legitimate hot girls don't wear sweatpants, those too lazy to do so spell it on their asscheeks. There will come a time where it will get so out of hand that they'll put license plate numbers on asspants. Preferably European car style.
Have any items you would like to add? Feel free to comment with a detail explanation.
CollegeHumor.com writer Streeter Seidel once had a column called "People You Hate" where people would e-mail him specifics anecdotes about people that as a whole do not aid in the progression of the human species. I however would like to go down a step and focus on things prevalent in our society that must be changed or done away with entirely.
The inaugural list is as follows:
1) Ameteur Ghost Riders - For those unaware of this rapper's stunt, "ghost riding" is where a person rides on the hood of a car moving at a very slow speed without a driver in the car. In rap videos this is done in a controlled environment with many people on hand to stop/slow the car down should something bad happen. For Johnny Icy Hot, it's in a parking lot on a ramp with his Honda Civic that leads to guranteed damage, bodily injury, or death. Honestly I would hope for death. Stop impressing your mom and drive the car she paid for you.
2) The Question "Did you get a haircut?" - This question has been asked entire too long in the course of history and it needs to be phased out. The answer is always YES. Yes, you were consious when you made the appointment, drove to Supercuts, sat in the chair, conversed about your life with Betty the Stylist, and paid the $15 for the haircut. OF COURSE YOU GOT ONE, DUH. The only time this question works is if you get shamed and wake up late for work without looking in the mirror. I'm sure your boss is thrilled about having "KCOC" written on your forehead, too.
3) Sweatpants with writing on the ass - No matter how you spell it, sweatpants are still sweatpants regardless of the alpha-numeric combination written on it. Legitimate hot girls don't wear sweatpants, those too lazy to do so spell it on their asscheeks. There will come a time where it will get so out of hand that they'll put license plate numbers on asspants. Preferably European car style.
Have any items you would like to add? Feel free to comment with a detail explanation.
Labels: The Stuff You Hate
1 Comments:
I disagree with part of what you were saying "Legitimate hot girls dont wear sweatpants." Take a look around a college campus like University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign, Northwestern or MIT, etc; there are plenty of hot girls that you will see walking around on campus that are wearing sweatpants. Sweatpants are the norm in college.
By Anonymous, At 9:40 PM
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