AMERICAN ICY HOT

Sadly, or fortunately, the American Idol auditions have come to an end. For the rest of you that will watch beyond that to see who becomes the next great singer for about 5 months, more power to you. For me, my work here is done.

The reason for this massive media showcase is to show you that when people have massive egos, they deserve to be put in their place. Consider it a collective karma bitch slapping. TM2 Productions and Extra Strength Icy Hot now presents to you the finalists for the worst audition of American Idol: The American Icy Hot award.

Nominees by city as follows:

1) Chicago - Derek Dupree
- Sweat stains
- Sings a Trading Spaces song that no one knows
- Sweat stains
- Three, count 'em three different pitches
- Strange resemblance to Chappelle's Show character Ashy Brown
- Over 12,000 hits on Putfile.com
- Sweat stains

2) Denver - Nick "Flawless" McCord
- Own style of dress
- Weird sense of bewilderent and confusion
- No Sweat Stains
- 3 different outfits in yellow, red, and gray
- Drives a moped

-(Read down the side)

3) Greensboro - Rhonetta Johnson
- Criminal record (arrested 4 times)
- Also won the Hawthrone Grill "Bitch Be Cool" Award
- Hooker boots
- 3+ minute tirade on the judges after getting denied
- Bigger than Jesus in weight class



4) San Francisco - Matt "Wolfie" Paulson
- Proclaims to sound like Clay Aiken
- Does not look like Clay Aiken
- Deep nasally voice
- Appearance of IT worker and LAN party frequenter
- Likes wolves, girls, half-wolf-half-girl pictures



5) Las Vegas - Ryan Hart
- Anti-Authority
- Anti-Talent
- Does a wicked pterodactyl impression
- Unemployed
- Long time Long John Silver's lifer (working or eating)
- Girl hair


6) Austin - Tessie Reid
- Overconfident ugly chick
- Stag prom date
- Braces, two color hair
- Tight clothes
- Sits with the creepy kids at lunch
- "sounds like Avril Lavigne," talent level between the two about same


7) Boston - Mike "The King of Dweebs" Sandecki
- Elicits murderous emotions when in public
- Popular with overconfident ugly chicks (see above)
- Best running to the bathroom montage ever
- "Looks like Clay Aiken," except Clay doesn't use Dep Megahold
- Possible Homersexual




So who is your selection for the next American Icy Hot? post in the comments link below with your selection.