Most Original Excuse

AKA: The Worst Grilling Ever

From last Friday's Journalism class, after I didn't make class Monday because I slept in:

"I'd like to congratulate Mr. Ashley so far this semester for coming up with the most original excuse. He didn't just sleep in, he slept in till noon." - Dr. Gerald Shuster

So now as the recipient of this unfortunate award, first I would like to thank God. Thank God that I didn't get further humiliated by Dr. Shuster after that statement. Second, I would like to thank my alarm clock for being set at the power-napped time of 3 pm and not the grunt-out-of-bed 8:30 am. Also, for Mondays, the day of the week that exerts physical and mental abuse on you. And finally, Biggie and Tu Pac, because I have no idea.

For my efforts, Dr. Shuster has presented me a statue of a bowling trophy held together by duc tape and a prayer, a $10 gift certificate (actually a $1 with a zero added) to Arby's, and a future grilling session by him to be mentioned later.

I'm still waiting for my trophy and gift certificate.

And I thought I went to RMU to get AWAY from Kittanning.

Sleep vs. RMU Residence Life Maintinance

There's this thing about my Tuesdays and Thursdays that are almost to the point where sleeping in will never happen. I honestly don't know which RMU conspiracy group or people know that I have Tuesdays and Thursdays off with no classes, thus they see it to humanly contact me at the crack of 10 am.

When I'm asleep.

still.

Today's run in with all things university was two maintenance guys knocking at my door at the angry time of 9:30 am. when I'm asleep. still. Sauntering out of bed with the bed sheet till attached to my foot, I open the door for the maintenance people to do their business. As for myself, I have a seat on the heater on medium. my trick for staying awake. when I'm not asleep. still.

The maintenance people check over the back wall of my dorm, which has been crusted with calcium lime deposits since I got here. NOW they do something about it. when I'm not asleep. seriously, would it have hurt to come in over the summer and CLR this beast?

of course not. maintenance people get a sick pleasure in waking people up. and they did that at 10:30 by knocking, only this time I don't answer. Wake me once, shame on you. Wake me twice, run.

Now with the 2 week long spree of Chainsaw-powered phone box removals and finally fixing a clogged toilet in the bathroom, I have come to the simple theory that in 2 years Ross Hall will crumble and implode for no reason, severely injuring and lawsuiting the university. The only way to minimize casulties is to have this on a weekend when everyone goes home.

not when everyone's asleep. still.