Making your Bucco Bobblehead Worth More

For those that have went to a Pittsburgh Pirates game in the last few years, you may have been one of the lucky fans to walk into PNC Park happy even before the game started. You honestly could care less which pierogie won the 4th inning race, who batted 5th for the rival Milwaukee Brewers, and which Pirates reliever gave up 8 runs in the 7th inning to lead to a 13-5 loss. You didn't care about any of that, because you were one of the first 5,000 people to make it.

You got yourself a bobblehead doll.

But that was 3 years ago, when the bobble craze was rampant. Times have changed. It's a whole new team. Literally. They had a yard sale last year after the All-Star Break. Now you're stuck with a bobblehead doll of a player that either got traded to another team and no longer plays for the Succos, or you have one of a Buccos blue chipper at the time that has turned so bad that showing it outside of the confines would lead to mass ridicule.

Another thing to consider about these dolls is that they're collectors items. They are deemed collectible if there's a certain level of value to them. For a Kip Wells bobblehead, the example we will use in this article, you'd be better off trading it for a bowling trophy.

But fortunatly thanks to the age of the internet, online auctioning, and shows like Pimp My Ride and Extreme Makeover, the good people at TM2 Productions will show you how to get the maximum value out of your lame former Bucco Bobblehead doll.

Follow these simple tips:

1) Certain Buccos can bear a striking resemblance to former legendary Pirates players. Brian Giles can easily pass for Andy Van Slyke, and Oliver Perez easily for Roberto Clemente with some careful Photoshopping, filing and/or chiseling.

Better yet if you want to run the risk of making serious bank on this, make up a rare Pirates player using the same face, only different number and name. Anything ending in "owski" is guranteed $500 opening bid.

2) Bucco bobbleheads are worth more if they have the We Are Family era uniforms. cover the helmet and jersey with a thick layer of nacho cheese and let cool. Make sure to restrain all domesticated animals that may wish to lick your masterpiece. That's what she said. Also be careful not to make the cheese too hot, otherwise the face of the doll may become disfigured, turning your Jason Kendall into a Jim Leyland.

3) Shave off the numbers and last name on the jersey, as well as the name on the base with a file and draw in magic marker. If the base is black, resort to whiteout using a stencil.

4) Fill in any blemishes that have shown up in your work with a crayola marker that corresponds to the matching color of the area. Real counterfeits don't replace the presidents on cash money with pictures of their friends, and you shouldn't either.

So here's what my final product looked like: I chose to go the route of the rarely-known but famous Bucco from 1970s World Series team. Which one, I don't know. I'll be happy with my nacho-cheese smelling bobblehead that now rarely bobbles, ready to snap a photo, auction it off, and wait for the bids to come in.

6 days have passed and still no $500 opening bid for a "SKip Wellsenkowski" 1974 Season bobblehead doll.

April is the month that never goes right.

This month has been more sucktacular than ever. First off, One Flew Over the Cookoo's Nest was in fact a great show, but some unnamed asswipe sound guy named Ken Vedder fucked up his sound cues ALL FOUR NIGHTS and killed whatever mood was established at the end. Second, the reason why you haven't seen me on here very much is because of this, all of which are due within the following weeks:

1) Powerpoint Presentation and 4 page paper
2) 5 page paper and 3 page revised paper
3) Logo Design and 2 page paper
4) 4 page final
5) 25+ journal entries
6) 10 minute documentary film project

Needless to say this home stretch has quite possibly been one of the worst in recent history. I'll be thankful when this semester's over and busy working. Not like last year, hell no.

While I've been gone...

Ok, quick whirlwind of events that have transpired over a few days that you would like to know.

Sunday: Student Recognition Awards Ceremony.

Along with Kyle (Danny from Grease), Dom (McMurphy in the upcoming One Flew Over), and John Locke (producer/director), we're getting respective theatre awards. For me, it's a scholarship for the 3 years of dedication to the theatre. As to much it is, basically I eat for free next year.

But the interesting part of the ceremony is that presenting the awards is our director for the musicals. Now compared to the previous speakers who had notes and speeches ready, our presenter is winging it with nothing but the program. And he's winging it like a flying ostrich. Kyle is mentioned as "This kid is hard working, he gets up to work at 4:30 am at Burger King." Nothing like telling the rest of the people he works at BK, the same company that endorses Darius Rucker's (Hootie from Hootie and the Blowfish) fall from grace in a cowboy suit. Next up on the cookout is me. He describes my performance as Vince Fontaine from Grease: "Gary is the funniest man on campus." WRONG. That statement should be one of, not the. secondly: "I've done Grease for a number of years and Gary is the sleaziest DJ I know." What I did after that was calmly bit the lip, take the award, and sit quickly. Third, Dom. Dom's description according to the presenter was "Every time I see him he has a different girl around his shoulder." We all have been equally roasted at this point, wondering if Don Rickles is going to be singing our praises next. Fortunatly for John the Comm. Department Head presented his award.

lucky son of a baish.

Wednesday: The Cookout with Dr. Lawson

For my Comm Studies class, which is a resume builder emphasis, I did a 20 minute radio show and had to present it. His query was "why should we listen to your show?" Deer in headlights. The only thing left to do was to actually play the product. First stinger (station identifier) he likes. I play the other one. Then a section from one of the skits. then the other. 20 mins later, the cookout is cancelled on account of a downpour of support from the classmates. His suggestions included to increase the tempo and play a wider array of voices. He suggested a woman and old man. Was close to giving an impromptu conversation between Aunt Bernice and an old guy about John Travolta on Opera, but didn't go on it.

Wednesday: Sharon's viewing of Chess Club

First off, thanks for checking out the movie and people have been wondering about what I got in the class for it. That will be discovered next Monday. Also, I'm entering Chess Club in a Student Film Competition to take place on the 20th. Granted it doesn't stand a huge chance at winning, but it's free, and the exposure of it is enough.

Wednesday: We Finally Have a Show

Last night was the final dress rehearsal for One Flew Over The Cookoo's Nest, and it really can be compared to Godspell in terms of emotion and humor. Tickets are still available online and can also be purchased at the door before the show. The show runs tonight, Friday, and Saturday at 8 pm, and Sunday at 2pm. Tickets are $7, $4 for RMU students. This is the first full-scale play being performed here since 2001. Tonight and the rest of the nights the goal of the cast is to put on an excellent show that can lead to future we can carry out what our late director Alvita Martin-Friar started.

Well I think that's about everything, look for writeups on all the show's this week as well as maybe a few other things. Till next time.